NEWS: I’m delighted to announce I have a new story (“Memoirs of an Intergalactic Thespian, Chapter XI: No Holds Bard”) forthcoming at Daily Science Fiction.*

If we hold with the advice to “write what you know” then when it comes to writing comedy, the advice is to “write what makes YOU laugh”. This explains why every writer I know can confidently apply the adjective “funny” to a story they’ve written… despite a vast range of reactions from those that read it.

Editors know this too and so, as a result, it’s fiendishly difficult to find a market for these stories.

As the above story marks my own return to publishing a funny story (there, see, I did it!) I thought it would be nice to look back on some other published stories that made me laugh when I was writing them.

“Knowing Your Human” – This story was well received when published by DSF and my biggest relief, of course, was to hear that other people also found it funny.

“CAPTAIN PERCINA SAUNDERS” I wrote this as a series of 10 adventures and it’s probably the nearest I’ve ever got to writing an actual ‘sitcom’. 

“The Hair-raising Spike” – This is a gentler/lighter piece, without the obvious ‘gags’ that a lot of my comedy stories contain. I’m very fond of the piece though, which is why I was delighted when Stupefying Stories liked it too.

“The Wiser of Oz” I don’t know if this is pastiche, satire or homage, or a mixture of all three. See the note on “In Circles”, below.

“Are Friends Eclectic” This is another gentler piece.

“In Circles” – My earliest comedy stories were invariably in this style. Sarcastic, a tad cynical, you’re usually laughing at the characters’ predicament rather than with them.

Because of the difficulty in finding a market for these types of story, I naturally have several other comedy stories on my files, sitting there forlornly, hoping one day to be picked up and laughed at. Hmm. But I think the above list provides a good illustration of their flavour and humour and the kind of thing that makes ME laugh.


*Okay, so I’m a big fan of DSF. They’re currently looking to guarantee their next decade by inviting sponsorship/contributions. So check out the site, bounce around and read some stories, give it some thought, bounce around some more, and help to keep them around.

DSF are suggesting a contribution of $15 a year and if you subscribe via Paypal (like I did) you might get confused by Paypal asking for your credit/debit card details (also, like I did!). Don’t sweat, it’s only so that if, one year, your PayPal balance doesn’t cover the $15, you have an alternate source of funding to pay.




Hello! And…

Thanks for stopping by.

I’m in the process of “revamping” this site, hence its rather minimalist appearance at present whilst I ponder what to put in.

Although I enjoy writing in any genre, most of my PUBLISHED fiction tends to be speculative fiction (sci fi, fantasy, horror).

For some free reads, a selection of those stories still appearing in their respective venues are listed here.


Jez Patterson




  1. The saddest thing about a human pet is their short lifespan. You are friends with your pet for ninety years or so, and Poof! They’ve abandoned you. Might as well have a goldfish.

    Thanks for the smile. Allen Lang

    1. I’ll take your poly-nominal and raise you a pseudonymous pslacker! haha. (But only cos we want to see more weird westerns and MR James from you, claro) 🙂

  2. Yesterday during lunch break I read your story in my DailyScienceFiction mail and was delighted. Today I was going to read today’s story but I thought to myself, No, I’m reading yesterdays story again! It’s funny and sad at the same time and the solution is just perfect. Thanks for your wonderful story!

  3. Just read your:

    The opening feels clumsy. Better to just start with

    “Have you fed it?” Try and skip or delay the whole human aug / marriage wrinkle until much later. Or just tighten it up…


    “Have you fed it?” Ex-captain Percina Saunders asked her husband. “I don’t want the Tfiulk waking up. Their food is drugged to make flights less stressful.”

    “The Tfuilk didn’t say he was stressed,” replied Martin, once her first mate, now her superior, in rank if not in intelligence.

    “I wasn’t talking about the Tfuilk.”

    I like the premise, rather like this novel: Fuzzy Nation – John Scalzi

      1. Ah, three flash-fictions, all independent. Somehow I got the impression that the husband was only physically enhanced… Enjoyed the puns, “wring” and “polygamy.”

  4. Your moving story “Wax Poetic” reminded me of another Patterson, a contemporary (for a while) of Wilfred Owen. Google: “Zion mule corps lion darkness” (it worked for me).

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